Even a look from someone can cause joy or discomfort. How practicing Ahimsa fosters kindness to everyone around you.
Have you ever walked into a room and felt the tension? Some people feel it so intensely and others do not at all. My husband and I are these two people. Somedays I would walk into our office at Twin Anchors Marine and go directly to his office and say," why is everyone so upset?" He would look at me with little concern and say " everyone seems fine what do you mean?" Not that my husbands is uncaring he just does not feel the same energy I feel. Sometimes I can feel it too much, robbing me of my own well being. I then have to take moment to sit with why is making me feel uncomfortable. Sometimes it simply comes back to how I am feeling about going to work that day. Sometimes other's during a coffee break will open up and express their own struggles at home.
I am writing this as part of a four week series call the Hatha & Yama's. I love yogic philosophy and I love the teachings that it offers. In the four week series we are delving into the Yama's and this week we practiced Ahimsa, for our physical body hearts and minds. Part of the path of yoga is learning about the Yoga Sutras and the Eight limbs of yoga. If you are interested in learning about the core of who you are, and how that core effects your everyday relationships, perceptions and actions, the principles and practices of the Yoga Sutra's can help. I began very slowly implementing yoga philosophy into my life and once I did I knew that I needed to share this with my daughters. Taking the Heart Yoga Teacher Training with Karuna and Paul Erickson became a gift for myself and my daughters.
As women we experience the feeling of other's kindness or threatening energies starting at a very young age. We have all found ourselves uncomfortable or scared when men have looked at you in a way that did not feel safe. It feels ugly and you feel like you can see the ugliness of his thoughts directed at you. As women in general we are taught to be nice, blend in and not make a big fuss or a scene. You know what? Now that I am in my early fifties, I say " fuck that." We do not have to be nice and try and blend into the background.
I decided when my daughter's were very young they would not to have to do this. The did not have hug "uncle" so and so even if they were prompted too. At a dinner we had when the girls were a little older my husband told our girls to say goodbye to a long time customer. He said " Say goodbye to Uncle Larry girls!" Our one daughter looked at Greg and said, " You first dad!" I was so proud of her and Greg learned never to ask the girls that again! I hope that I have taught my girls; that you do not have to put up with someone else's ignorance, and you absolutely need to trust your gut. When you feel it in your stomach, know for certain that something is wrong or harming, you can trust this feeling completely. That is what it is there for to keep you safe, and from being harmed.
I was harmed as a teen which changed the person I could've possibly been forever. At a houseboat staff party, I woke up to a married man groping me, he was hoping as a sixteen year old I was intoxicated enough that he could have his way with me. He was wrong. I fought with fangs and claws! This awoke the other's I was on the houseboat with and he ran out of the houseboat back to his wife who was still sleeping. I told my boss, also a women, the next morning who did not believe me who in-turn told his wife. The wife called me a little bitch and that she was going to make sure I got fired because her husband and herself also worked for the company. I didn't get fired but I did quit my job. I had years of nightmares after this of waking up with someone standing over me. Only there wasn't anyone it was the lingering trauma of what had happened to me. This man was never accountable for what he did to me, so he probably continued to harm others.
I long for the day that as women we do not have to continue to fight for a right to feel safe and feel valued in our careers, homes and communities. Even in yoga there were men who took liberation with students and caused harm and it took decades for these women and men to step forward to speak out against this cruelty. This is not the path of ahimsa, it's a path of harm and ugliness that still has not been resolved. Sadly some of these men are still teaching and students still follow. Bikram Choudhury being one of these teachers. Bikram failed to pay a seven-million-dollar judgment issued against him by a California court, in 2017, the judge issued an arrest warrant, and Bikram reportedly fled the country. Bikram still continues to have followers and now teaches Bikram Teacher Trainings in Mexico. It is absurd.
Ahimsa is a yogic philosophy in the eight limbs. It is the first of the "yama's." Yama's are considered the ethical practices we can live by in the world. Ahimsa is the ability to cooperate with others and it's importances is emphasised by the placement of the beginning of the limbs. The way we treat other living creatures is a testament to our inner state, each yama is considered a great vow, a universal ethic not limited by social class, place, time or circumstances. Each person has the potential to be kind or mean. Practicing the eight limbs of yoga especially the first limb of the ethical behaviours can strengthen our kindness and weaken our meanness. Children have this natural ability for kindness as shown in this picture
of my granddaughter who had to kiss the fish and say sorry before releasing back into the lake.
Practicing ahimsa begins with ourselves. For example if you do something wrong do you beat yourself up about it and regret it for a long time? Or do you remember you are human and find compassion and kindness to yourself and learn from the experience? Remember the way we treat ourselves is how we treat others. In our yoga practice we begin to learn how to bring ahimsa into our poses or postures. We learn what feels good and what causes pain and agitation. Sometimes it takes time for us to learn that we do not need to experience pain in yoga because so many other exercise regiments focus on "no pain, no gain." In the gentle and therapeutic yoga approach we teach " no pain, no pain." When I speak of this in class there are always a few chuckles. I often wonder why this happens? Do they feel that I am speaking to them directly? The gentle approach to yoga is trust yourself, to learn your limitations and not be instructed to go past this. Ahimsa is the key to inner and outer happiness and harmony.
Here are a few thoughts and exercises your can try at home that are practicing Ahimsa from the The Path of Yoga Sutras. a practical guide to the core of yoga by Nicolai Bachman.
THOUGHTS
It requires more courage to be non-violent than to condone or participate in violence.
I alone am responsible for my thoughts, words and actions.
I am will practice loving-kindness and refrain from harming others.
EXERCISE
Think of a person whom you often feel negative towards. Send him/her positive uplifting thoughts. See if this changes the way you think of this person.
Yoga Practice: https://www.tummee.com/yoga-sequence/ZOfNV
Purchase on Yoga Sutra's Book Amazon: https://www.amazon.ca/Path-Yoga-Sutras-Practical-Guide/dp/1604074299